Snapshot of my beautiful momma and I from my Instagram!
It was the call I never thought I would have to get again. I was in the midst of a normal work day here in my office and I see my mom’s name light up my iPhone.
“Hey momma!” I answered.
“Hey…….” long pause. I knew immediately by the tone of her voice, it wasn’t good news. ”I just got back from my check up.” This is a check up she does every 6 months as she now goes into 7 years of being cancer free. ”They found a lump.”
My heart dropped.
And tears filled my eyes instantly.
I can’t take losing another parent, I immediately thought. It’s just like me to always go straight to the worst. I think I get that part from my dad, in that way he always looked out for, as he called it, the “boogers in life.” Even though it’s been almost 3 years since cancer ended his life, some days, most days, it still feels like yesterday.
As she went on to describe, the lump is also in the side that she had a mastectomy on. Really? It has to be on THAT side. Geez, make me worry even more.
Then in true “let’s take our time” fashion the medical world seems to go by, they were making her wait over 2 weeks before she could get in to do a MRI to find out if the lump is just that, or cancer. Ironically, her MRI was scheduled for the day before my dad’s birthday. And 5 days before mine on Christmas. Couldn’t God have chosen any other time than this holiday season to drop this bomb on us?
As strong as my faith has grown to be over the years between almost losing my mom the first time as she survived level 3 breast cancer, to then a few short years later losing my dad to level 4 lung cancer, I just found myself crippling under this latest test of faith. I know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but COME ON! THROW ME A BONE HERE!
So I did what I only know how to do, I surrounded myself with other believers and their prayers to be our strength in the gap. Lots of text messages, phone calls, emails, Facebook messages, Instagrams, the prayers came pouring in. So I clung to that, and I clung to bible verses like Mark 5:34, “Jesus said to her, ‘Dear woman, you are made well because you believed. Go in peace; be healed of your disease.’” And once again, my faith, and the love of others, got me through.
Earlier today, Stephen and I joined my mom at the doctor’s office to hear the results. Those old familiar hallways I thought I would never have to visit again with her, but alas, here we were, holding God’s hand, and each other hands, and I with Stephen’s hand, as we walked toward another uncertain future. I remember just hugging my mom in the elevator as we approached the top floor, and remembering all over again how she became my hero the year she fought her fight the first time in 2004.
As we sat in the room waiting, the nurse came in and asked my mom, “Do you have any new concerns today?” There was a huge silent moment as I think I, Stephen and my mom just wanted to yell “WE JUST WANT RESULTS!” But my mom, in all her graciousness, simply replied, “Um, no, I’m fine, thank you,” and then as the nurse left, my mom continued with her usual, “Have a heavenly day,” that she tells everyone who crosses her path. Her strength, I swear, to have just an ounce of that.
Then the doctor comes in, and the first she says is, “I have good news.”
Immediately, my heart sank again and tears filled my eyes. I knew with that that my mom was going to be ok!
The doctor continued to explain how my mom’s MRI showed no signs of cancer, but wants to continue to keep an eye on every 6 months like usual. After the doctor left, I immediately jumped up and grabbed her and Stephen’s hand and initiated our cheezy circle dance, a tradition my dad started whenever we encountered any sign of success in life. And though my dad wasn’t here to dance with us this time, I couldn’t help but feel like he was still up there in Heaven looking out for the “boogers” for us.
From the bottom of my heart, to all who joined me in prayer, I just want to say again how thankful I am to have you in my life, for being a friend, for being brothers and sisters in Christ believing with me that with God, all things ARE possible! And with that, I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas miracle.